a miss-list for kenya

(Again, I can't change the time/date on blogger right now. Actual time/date of authoring was
22 January 2006 11:01pm)

I'm writing this from bed. I had a lovely day. I'm having some technical difficulties involving the non-existent backing up of my photos. And my heart aches for New York City. I wish I could have Gray's Papaya for breakfast. Did they raise the price of a hot dog, by the way? What about the Recession Special? Mmm…sauerkraut.

Here's my List of Things I'll Miss When I Leave Kenya. I started it a while ago, when I decided I'd had enough of my whiny bitterness. It's helped a lot to be able to keep referring back to it and adding to it. I know I’ll think of more, but I’m just gonna post what I have for now.

(In no particular order...)
1) Uninhibited kids
2) Fresh whole milk
3) $0.14 papayas, $0.07 avocadoes, $0.03 yellow passion fruits, $0.01 pink guavas
4) Ugali, especially the kind with some sorghum in it. I would propose that someone open a Kenyan restaurant in NYC, but I think it would fail. Cornmeal paste is just too weird of a concept for Americans. Oh but I do love it.
5) Stewed chapati
6) Ruth & Mama Kamene, my homestay family
7) Widely varying landscape, sparsely populated
8) The lack of light pollution that allows the stars to jump out at you on a clear night
9) The leisurely pace of life
10) The kiosk in town labelled "No. 49" where Wendy & I go to get a big bowl of rice mixed with beans, potatoes, kale, and meat for just 30sh. We've dubbed it "The Oven," because it traps heat like a greenhouse.
11) The way Kenyan women dress.
12) The way Kenyan women laugh.
13) Clean pit latrines (because in many ways they are better than porcelain flush-toilets.)
14) The way that 5-passenger sedans fit a minimum of 8 and 15 passenger vans can fit 23
15) Seeing bikes go by with loads strapped to the back the size of a baby elephant
16) Long walks
17) The sight of all my laundry hanging on the line
18) Knowing my local postal staff and shopkeepers
19) The fact that I've probably used my alarm clock 3 times at site
20) The generosity of my neighbors
21) Kids' frequent spontaneous outbreaks of singing and dancing
22) Adults who, being more subdued, still hum and whistle all the time
23) Little girls who do so many chores and never complain
24) Chasing chickens, shooing sheep
25) The importance of rain
26) Not owning a mirror & rarely wearing matching clothes & knowing that no one cares! (Hey, at least I stay clean.)
27) Sleeping in a mosquito net
28) Totally confusing people when I tell them that my home is drier than Kitui
29) Donkey-watching
30) Meeting and talking with travelers from around the world
31) Roadside mahindi choma (roasted maize - my favorite snack! Only 5 or 10 shillings, depending on the size.)
32) Riding in cars with livestock
33) Forehead-slapping reminders of how stupid and self-centered I am that come from unexpected places – one of life’s best teaching methods
34) Kenyan sense of humor – warm, open, leaves no survivors
35) So much time for reading
36) Seas of skinny little kids in school uniform, smiling
37) The surprising competence of even the tiniest kids - tending cattle, watching their siblings, finding their ways to and from school all alone, lighting fires…

As much as I am and will always be an outsider in this country, I’ve been privileged to taste what it’s like to live here. When I miss home I often wish I could take some of my neighbors home with me, if only for 8 months, so they could learn about my home the way I’ve learned about theirs. Only after I’ve long abandoned my infatuation with Kenya and hated it for a while have I been able to start loving it. I know now that Kenya won't ever belong to me the way America does, and understand that my patriotism is about where I’ve lived and breathed my life, not whether I approve of my government. I don’t think I could’ve gained that without the experience I’ve had so far as an expatriate. And I wish I could turn the tables on my community, so that they could love their country more, specifically because they've learned to love (not just be infatauted with) another.