Transition
For anyone who reads this blog and not my mass emails, I suppose you should know I got back to the States for good last month.
I was thinking about entitling this, "The End" or, "Closure," but the end of my Peace Corps experience is neither. I haven't said goodbye to Kenya and I wouldn't be happy doing so. I am now linked to it and will forever be split between America and Kenya. When I'm in one, I'll feel homesick for the other, missing my friends and yearning for their company. And there is no reason to believe I won't have many opportunities to visit again, or even live there again someday.
As I adjust to life in America, seeing old faces and doing old things, I wonder how this was ever my life, and I have to reacquaint myself with the wisp of a notion that this could in any way be 'normal.' It was normal to wash my clothes in a basin, to use three gallons in one bath. It was normal to go for long walks through my neighborhood and be surrounded by beautiful nature every minute of it. 'Normal' was taking time to chat with friends about our country and its problems and feel like development could be real. American cynicism is slapping me in the face, and I don't know how I let myself get so soft and optimistic while I lived overseas. But I'm keeping it with me - I'm so afraid to lose that idealism and feeling of empowerment.
My life isn't over, my life with Kenya isn't over, and my life back in the States is just beginning. This is not the end of anything, really, except this blog. Thanks for reading.
I was thinking about entitling this, "The End" or, "Closure," but the end of my Peace Corps experience is neither. I haven't said goodbye to Kenya and I wouldn't be happy doing so. I am now linked to it and will forever be split between America and Kenya. When I'm in one, I'll feel homesick for the other, missing my friends and yearning for their company. And there is no reason to believe I won't have many opportunities to visit again, or even live there again someday.
As I adjust to life in America, seeing old faces and doing old things, I wonder how this was ever my life, and I have to reacquaint myself with the wisp of a notion that this could in any way be 'normal.' It was normal to wash my clothes in a basin, to use three gallons in one bath. It was normal to go for long walks through my neighborhood and be surrounded by beautiful nature every minute of it. 'Normal' was taking time to chat with friends about our country and its problems and feel like development could be real. American cynicism is slapping me in the face, and I don't know how I let myself get so soft and optimistic while I lived overseas. But I'm keeping it with me - I'm so afraid to lose that idealism and feeling of empowerment.
My life isn't over, my life with Kenya isn't over, and my life back in the States is just beginning. This is not the end of anything, really, except this blog. Thanks for reading.
posted by Anonymous at
3:28 AM
2 Comments:
Welcome back! Although our family was only in Kenya for three weeks, it too has left a special mark on our lives. And, because of technology and the internet,we were able to meet you and connect you with some special Kenyans in our lives. That was awesome! I know you left a special mark on the lives of Emily and her family. Thank you for encouraging them, sharing your life and a bit of our country with them, and helping where you could. Silibwet surely benefited from having you as a part of their town. Hopefully, they will carry-on with the "Earth Day" celebration.
Just keep rereading your " a miss-list for Kenya." It certainly brings vivid pictures to our mines. May you be richly blessed as you take this experience with you as you begin a new chapter in your life.
Susan H.
By
Susan, at 4:12 PM, December 06, 2006
Hey Jenly. I just want you to know that I feel exactly the same way now that I am back in the states. Its as if nothing has changed except me and no one seems to notice. It's as if I no longer belong anywhere and am in some weird state of limbo. I miss Kenya and my family and friends there. I miss the warmth and generosity of the people. I miss the simplicity of the life I knew for the past year and a half. I don't miss the anger that Kenya fostered within me, but that's really the only thing I do not miss. Transitioning is HARD, especially when leaving was so sudden.
Remember, you were a good volunteer and you did what you set out to do. You made friends and changed your life and your views, and gained a better understanding of the world. Yes, America is hard and sucks, but you are a stronger person than most, and you will do fine. If you need to talk, call or email me.
Carole
By
Carole, at 3:24 AM, December 07, 2006
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